Research by scientists

While playing a computer game, and receiving some good reward from a random draw...

C (11 y/o) : I think scientists need to do research on me, because of how amazing my luck is.

Ice-cream colour efficiency

Me (discussing pre-Easter holiday food shopping needs): Have we decided what we need to buy at the shops?

C (13 y/o): Ice-cream!

D (15 y/o): Yes - we need the tub with the three coloured ice-cream.

S: (9 y/o): Sometimes you can get it in only two colours.

Announcements

S (9 y/o): I almost always announce when I fart. Even when I'm at home. I'm not going to lie about it.

Exploding chickens

C (12 y/o, shouted without context at the kitchen table): "Don't explode my chickens! I need them!"

I think it's something to do with Minecraft, possibly?!?

Learn grammar

C (10 y/o): Go away and learn grammar!

Shouted to rebut some ludicrous and factually inaccurate aspersions his younger sister was attempting to cast in his direction. Solid come-back, boy-child ;-p

Granny

C (10 y/o): Do you think that Granny might be a man?

I just have no idea. None.

Four noodles...

I have realised that some of the things my children say really only make sense in our own home, and only barely there... 

S (9 y/o): "Can you fill the kettle for about four noodles, and, you know, push it down?"