Fail!!

Heard through the door....

D: "Are you a fail?"
C: "What does that mean?"
D: "It is a different type of Dead. If Caolán was grown up and he was a spy and killed you then you would be failed."

Peppa Pig!

We are used to having 2 bossy big girls but yesterday the 16 month old said "Daddy,google Peppa Pig" he is a boy of few words but knows what he wants!!

Shelves of stones

D (5-years old): "I also like stones. I have brought shelves of stones."

I have no idea what the context for this is, sorry. Not a clue. None.

Daddy the Elephant

ooh an open laptop logged in to blogger....
Lets have a C (3-year old) song to celebrate:

To the tune of Nelly the Elephant:
C: "Daddy the elephant packed his bags and said good bye to the circus,
And off he went with a grumpity grump, grump - grump - grump.

Mr. Smee

After a particularly intricate conversation regarding Jake and the Neverland Pirates, Captain Hook being naughty and Mr. Smee removing the "tail skin" from a bird, before the bird flew away:

C (3-years old): "I wish you were Mr. Smee, Daddy."
Daddy (slightly confused): "Why is that?"
C: "Because you're a boy."
Daddy: "If I were Mr. Smee, I'd have to be naughty. Is Daddy naughty*?"
C (pausing to think deeply on this question, then responding with absolute certainty): "Yes!"

That's me told then.

* I sometimes refer to myself in the third person for dramatic effect, particularly when trying to establish whether I've been naughty or not.

Handles on traffic lights

After stopping the second time and explaining to the over-enthusiastic 5-year old that we had to stop at red lights:

C (3-years old): "Traffic lights have handles."
Daddy (confused, but interested to see where this is going): "..."
C: "If they didn't have handles they'd fall over."
Daddy: "Ah, yes. All the traffic lights are on poles so they don't fall over."
C: "Yes. Handles."

A few

C (3-years old): "Mammy, how many is a few?"
Mammy: "3, or 4, or 5."
C: "Can I have a few biscuits please? Five!?!"