Sprinkle my nipples with hot sauce

Today's impromptu improvised song lyrics, sung at full volume by the 6 y/o while playing with her marble run, which is one of the noisiest toys in the known universe, particularly since she has collected all her siblings' marbles and has a fairly continuous stream of marbles running through it

"Sprinkle my nipples,

Sprinkle my nipples,

Sprinkle my nipples, with hot sauce,

With hot, hot, hot, hot sauce.

So that I will Aaaaaaarghh!

Because I need to make more noise..."

Words to live by...

We're discussing something wise that someone on the TV news said, and S (6 y/o) is colouring at the table - but always listening. Always. Listening.

Me (to my wife): "Words to live by!"

S (6 y/o, thoughtfully): "I wouldn't like to live by words. I'd prefer to live by woods [a forest.]"

Impromptu multilingual breakfast poetry from the 6 y/o:

"Are you about to poo?

Værsågod!" 

("You're welcome" in Norwegian)

Counting aggressively

Having children is #8...

Realising there is such a thing as aggressive counting - while listening to my 11 y/o playing hide and seek. Terrifying...

Target audience

My six-year old really gets target audiences, to a level I had not truly appreciated until now

Me: What are you watching?

6 y/o: "My Little Pony." It's not suitable for Daddies because there's no tea or coffee in it.